With all the cries of "Socialism" going about...

I thought I'd compose a handy guide for Conservatives:

So, you say you don't like socialism? You don't want the government running anything? Wellll....

Don't EVER say you honor and support our military. The military (even including private, outsourced companies like Blackwater) are all paid and supplied by the Federal government.

Don't EVER call 911 for a medical, fire or police emergency. Emergency services are largely provided for by public servants using government-provided equipment and training.

Don't EVER drive on a federal or state or local highway. You can only drive on roads built and maintained by private companies. You'll really have to do this as you will not have a driver's license which is a product of a government agency.

Don't EVER buy any food that passed an FDA inspection. You have to grow your own fruits and vegetables and raise your own cattle, pigs, chickens, etc. Same goes for any medications.

Don't EVER visit a National, State, or Local park and especially don't participate in any activities there (fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, etc. that would require further expenditures for licenses.)

Don't EVER be in a position you would need a public defender. They are paid for via public dollars.

Don't EVER expect or ask for the prosecution against someone who did you harm, directly or indirectly. The judicial system, you see, is a government-run agency paid for by our tax dollars and other fees.

Don't EVER visit a public library and use the resources there as tax dollars bought those books, PCs, etc.

Don't EVER put your children in public schools (elementary, high school, or college). The elementary and high schools are free via tax dollars. Teachers are paid via tax dollars.

Don't EVER apply for Medicaid if you become disabled or indigent and need assistance such as food stamps, medical care, utility bill assistance or job training. After all, you don't want other Americans who have no insurance to have it paid for via tax dollars, why should you get to take part in that system?

Don't EVER accept Medicare after you retire and no longer have any type of private health insurance.

Don't EVER accept any Social Security payment after you no longer work or a spouse has died. Live off of your private investments or the charity of friends and family.

Don't EVER apply for a small business loan from any government agency. Where do you think that money would come from anyway?

Don't EVER ask the government for help in getting child support payments from a deadbeat spouse.

Don't EVER apply for Unemployment if you should happen to lose your job.

Don't EVER mail a letter via the USPS and contact every single entity that would otherwise use the USPS for mailing you items to have them sent via UPS, FEDEX, or electronic delivery.

Don't EVER visit a museum that was built or is maintained or operated by any government agency.


Got that?