The economy is SO bad...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can no longer afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
...
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street 'Wal-Mart Street.'

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

And, finally...I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan,and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited,and asked if I could drive a truck...

(BIG thanks to my Facebook friend Kevin Colter for this!)

The best show you're probably not watching

Battlestar Galactica begins its 4th (and regrettably, final) season on Friday, April 4th at 10PM on the Sci-Fi channel. This was a decision made by the producers, who wanted to culminate the story while the show was still good.
If perchance you remember the '70's show of the same name, and think it's the same thing, think again. The only resemblance to the old show is the title, and the names of some of the characters.
This time, instead of being cheesy sci-fi, the show was totally reimagined as a drama in a science fiction setting, with Oscar-caliber actors (Edward James Olmos, 1988 Best Actor nominee for Stand and Deliver, and Mary McDonnell, 1990 Best Supporting Actress nom, Dances With Wolves, and 1992 Best Actress nom, Passion Fish) in the leading roles, and a uniformly excellent supporting cast. Seasons 1-3 are now on DVD, and, as I understand it, Sci-Fi channel is planning a marathon leading up to the seaon 4 premiere. Check this show out - you won't regret it.
http://www.scifi.com/battlestar/home.html